[Ky/365 - Project 2010]

Current Song: Slipknot - Snuff.

This is going to be one of those rare double image posts just because I said so.

Today was one of those days where we just wanted to stay in bed. Me and Steph woke up at 11am, pretty much said fuck it, rolled back over and ended up falling back asleep until 2pm. We got out of bed at 2:30pm, and were told to remain in her bedroom because her dad needed to do some things. So we did, completely bored out of our minds. It's funny how when you have complete access to the rest of the house, the room seems more appealing, but when it gets taken away we'd rather have the whole house to be in instead of her bedroom. Funny how that works, don't you think? We sat on her bed watching the dragons, drinking tea and eating Wheat Thins until we were allowed to come back out.

When we got out of her room we made breakfast... Well no, she made breakfast, I needed to see what happened with Bethy and Mom and see if we still had the hotel room for me to go back to. Fortunately, upon inspecting my emails from last night they got back to me about it. With more inspection, it appears the hotel got flooded earlier this morning too. Apparently from what Bethy said, a Boiler broke and the whole first floor of the hotel had water everywhere. Rooms were destroyed, and the rugs were soaked. I have some pictures I'll put up whenever I get a chance to add them in. Luckily, the upstairs was left completely untouched, and they were up most of the night making jokes about it. The Clarion Hotel manager refuses to fix anything, mostly because they say he's a big lazy ass... That and the repairs are supposed to cost upwards of $6,000. One thing else I didn't mention about the situation is there's a massive bad smell and the panels on the ceiling are all falling off because of this now. The good thing about it is I had a few later emails that said the hotel was extended until the 11th in hopes the house is finally finalized and we can start moving in.

Here's the picture thanks to Bethy:


While Steph cooked breakfast, which was Omelets by the way, I called Bethy and talked to her about everything. I won't recap what I've already said in another paragraph, we just talked about it for a bit and I said I needed to go shortly after that. The roads were covered, Steph's dad said there was going to be like another 4 inches of snow in New Castle by this evening, so we couldn't stay too much longer. We ate our Omelets and then we had a bit more food to go with it. She had a salad, and I had the rest of my hoagie. Drank some Pepsi and then we got ready and had to leave.

We said goodbye to her Dad, and then went and brushed her car off. The roads on the way back were horrible, not as bad as I made it sound but still relatively horrible. visibility was shit, and when we had to stop and get gas we slid in the parking lot. The whole damn lot was covered in slush, and people were driving a good 5 miles an hour or less just to get around. We couldn't brake, we couldn't really stop at all, but we managed. She got her gas, and we were back off again. We talked on the way and listened to some of her radio stations until the radio cut out, then we put mixes on and sat there talking a little until we got back. When she got back she didn't get to stay too long because of the roads, we checked out the first floor and took a few pictures out in the parking lot with Bethy, and then she had to leave. Kissed her goodbye and wished her well, I told her to be careful and that if anything happened to call. We got here around 6:20pm, she left around 6:40pm. The funny thing about this though was there was an old guy that was looking at us as we kissed each other goodbye. It was like he never saw anyone kissing before, haha.. And when we were walking to her car, he'd walk and just keep looking back. He was older, had gray hair and a gray beard. What is kind of funny about this is after I came back inside I heard a story about a guy with a similar description. Apparently there was a guy propositioning Courtney, who is a front desk clerk here at the hotel. He wanted her to go and do something with him, he's a trucker, and we all know how that goes. So he's been bothering her since he came here, and she's married. She even told him that and he don't care. He even said he'd give her $200 to go and do something with him... Talk about desperate. She's been talking to Mom and wanted to meet Bethy, that's how we know about the creepy guy downstairs. She said we could come down and hang out if we wanted to keep her company, since she's getting irritated with this old guy. The good thing about it though... She's supposed to be leaving here Friday to start a new job, more power to her.

Spent the next hour with Bethy in the hotel room, not doing much of anything but asking her what she wanted to do, and never really getting much of an answer. So I logged onto stuff on her laptop and checked my things out while I waited to hear from Steph. Nick called around 8:45pm, and that was around the same time I texted Steph about not being able to get her call when she got back home. So she got online and we talked for about 10 minutes before I got irritated with everything going on. Mom was trying to talk to me about the house and the rent fees we'll be paying. Then I got slapped across the face with the bombshell that Steph's ex sent her Christmas gifts. What a way to end a wonderful time with your girlfriend, huh? Presents from an ex. Fucking perfect.

I went over the title of this post a good 15 minutes before coming to terms with what I wanted to name it, and I think it fits. No matter how hard you want to leave people behind you never really can, things just never go that way. There's always something that brings you back, be it something you do normally throughout the day, or just a picture you find in an old album, or any number of other things too. I'm pissed off beyond belief, because she said she was leaving him behind. I can't help it, the past 5 months have been me and her, and nothing else in between that. She left him behind and apparently he still feels the need to keep her in his heart. She didn't send him anything, hell, she hasn't even talked to him for the past like... 4 months.. I can't help but be angry and disturbed by this. I know they're just gifts, but this is ridiculous.

I can remember a time me and Steph talked about an old present I got for Kelly, it was an autograph of one of her favorite voice actors. I got it personalized and went through a lot of hell to get it for Kelly. When me and Kelly split up, I never had a chance to give it to her. And when I got with Steph, somehow, someway the autograph got brought up. I don't remember the details of how, or why, but it got brought up. And she said I shouldn't give it to her since we've broke up, and that she wouldn't like it one bit if I did. So I haven't, the damn thing is in storage. I know it doesn't really... Fit the same way as to the gifts her ex unexpectedly provided her. But I can't help but be angry over it... Those ties were broken when she left him, he shouldn't be sending her gifts, and letters, and emails trying to talk to her. Even if he says he's not trying to woo her and sway her to go back to him, I still don't like it, or trust it at all.

I mean, when you break up all ties should be broken. Friends made in that relationship I guess could still be kept, but even after that, those ties won't ever really be the same. The awkward conversations that would ensue, "Do you still talk to her?", "Think of her?", "Is she coming with us to such and such a place?". You know, those things. The point is, the relationships won't even be the same for those in the relationship AND out of it. That's not saying you can't keep those friends, it'd just be weirder if you did, and talked to them after the break up.

I guess I don't really know what I'm getting at... I don't really like it either way. But at the same time I can't really say to get rid of the gifts and not accept them... God I'm in such an annoyed, irritated, and displaced mood...

God damn it... The nerve of that fucker...

I want to punch something...

Where's my fucking controller...

The darkness from which my conscience lies
Striking through like needles through my eyes
Oh becoming cloudy, the neglectful sight of day
Letting all within us simply wash itself away